On Friday morning I rose early, walked about among my people, and inquired into their state and concerns; and found an additional weight and burden on my spirit, upon hearing some things disagreeable. I endeavoured to go to God with my distresses, and made some kind of lamentable complaint; and in a broken manner spread my difficulties before God; but notwithstanding, my mind continued very gloomy. About ten o'clock I called my people together, and after having explained and sung a psalm, I prayed with them. There was a considerable deal of affection among them; I doubt not, in some instances, that which was more than merely natural.
Jonathan Edwards' added note on this entry: This was the last interview that he ever had with his people. About eleven o'clock the same day, he left them; and the next day came to Elizabethtown; his melancholy remaining still: and he continued for a considerable time under a great degree of dejection through vapory disorders.
Wednesday, March 22
Thursday, March 16
Saturday, March 11
Being kept in Elizabeth-town as a day of fasting and prayer, I was able to attend public worship; which was the first time I was able so to do after December 21. Oh how much weakness and distress did God carry me through in this space of time! But having obtained help from him, I yet live: Oh that I could live more to his glory!
Posted by Rebecca Stark at 12:25 PM
Saturday, March 4
I met with reproof from a friend, which, although I thought I did not deserve it from him, yet was, I trust, blessed of God to make me more tenderly afraid of sin, more jealous over myself, and more concerned to keep both heart and life pure and unblamable. It likewise caused me to reflect on my past deadness, and want of spirituality, and to abhor myself, and look on myself as most unworthy. This frame of mind continued the next day; and for several days after, I grieved to think, that in my necessary diversions I had not maintained more seriousness, solemnity, heavenly affection and conversation. Thus my spirits were often depressed and sunk; and yet I trust that reproof was made to be beneficial to me.
Posted by Rebecca Stark at 8:44 PM
Wednesday, March 1
Was visited by an Indian of my own congregation; who bought me letters, and good news of the sober and good behaviour of my people in general. This refreshed my soul; I could not but soon retire, and bless God for his goodness; and found, I trust, a truly thankful frame of spirit, that God seemed to be building up that congregation for himself.
Posted by Rebecca Stark at 8:20 AM